Today is my last day in my thirties. After today, I'm turning 40.
I remember about ten years ago, shortly after my own birthday, I was at Jun's place for his 40th. You could clearly read the displeasure on his face—he felt old, I suppose. Now I'm experiencing that very same feeling myself.
Actually, ten years ago, when I turned 30, I also thought I was past it. Suddenly you feel like so many things are no longer appropriate—buying toys, buying albums (that really dates you), or chasing friends around the street without a care. If you're 30, doing those things just feels off. Later I realized that the whole "act your age" idea is nothing but a mental cage. It's like talking to the sky on a busy street—as long as you don't bother anyone, nobody cares. The only one who cares is yourself.
This milestone birthday, I'm calmer than last time. There's still a hint of melancholy, same as Jun's mood. But at least I'm not panicking. Old is old—everyone gets there, it's only a matter of time.
Age hits you subtly, and differently for everyone. Some become parents at 17, others at 47. The gap is huge.
In the period leading up to 40, I decided to build 5baba.com. I don't know what it will become, but I feel it should exist. It might have a positive impact on some people—that's quite possible, and that's enough.
I've had a lot of ideas lately, and I'm putting them into practice on 5baba.com. This is the third website I've taken seriously. The first two were Chinese-language sites, covering nearly 20 years of my youth. This time, I'll reach out to an overseas, international audience. That's not easy to navigate.
To be honest, the website format is almost obsolete. Just like we talked about newspapers 20 years ago. Now everything is AI, and it'll only go further. I don't know if this site will bring me what the previous ones did, but my body and soul have compelled its existence.
Life is full of uncertainties. I used to blame my father for not leaving me a fortune. But when you truly reach a mature age, you understand that sometimes, just being alive is enough—being alive is the greatest victory. And if you can still smile, even if only occasionally, that's the most beautiful thing.
I don't know who would be interested in reading this rambling nonsense, but that's okay. I'm ready to bring you something different.
I'll take a long time to slowly improve 5baba.com. Now with AI—it's so wicked, it can replace almost everything. It can do anything, yet you might feel bored more easily. But thankfully, AI solves all technical problems—I just need to provide ideas, and it'll handle the rest.
This world is both terrible and wonderful.
I promise that next time you read my words, they won't be as boring as this one. Thank you for your time.
— From Bong, in the scorching midsummer of 2026